Eagles Wear Black to Mourn the Loss of Their Offense

There aren’t enough furious adjectives in the entire Webster’s Dictionary to properly eulogize what the Philadelphia Eagles tried to pass off as professional football this past Black Friday. If the black uniforms were meant to symbolize intimidation, they instead felt like funeral attire because the offense flatlined somewhere between the first snap and whatever that was they called a game plan. I’m not sure if they were just bloated or stuffed from a tremendous amount of Thanksgiving turkey and stuffing, but they sure as hell could stuff that performance right up their backsides, on behalf of every Eagles fan they just rear-ended during what should’ve been a week of gratitude and family! I’m thankful the game is over. I’m thankful November is over. Because since the bye week this offense has been absolutely abysmal- they're averaging under 16 points per game.

Photo Credit: Terence Lewis/Icon Sportswire

Alas, despite all of the focus on the horrific play of the offense, the defense apparently felt left out, so they just went ahead and one-upped the embarrassment. The Chicago Bears rushed for 281 yards, the most since the 1973 season. It was also the most rushing yards given up in Philadelphia since 1962, when the Packers rushed for nearly 300 yards. The loss sent the Eagles to 8-4 on the season with a Monday Night Football showdown in LA against the Chargers up next.

So how is this garbage going to get fixed? It starts up front. Football is won up front and it has been a very long time since I have seen the Philadelphia Eagles get pushed around on both sides of the football. When issues run this deep, it's not just one fix. Tune into this week’s episode of the Prepare the Floats Podcast where I’ll go even deeper into what I would do to fix this circus of an offense… oh, and by the way- Kevin Patullo isn’t going anywhere. Yes, you read that correctly. See John Clark’s post on X below: